birthday gift

it must have been in the air
quite like the viruses
of cold and fever
floating around forever.
how else do i explain
my being, embraced by
and wrapped in it
all cosy yet numbed
sighing away, soaking in, 
wanting, aching
and unquenched.

and oh! like the
frequent visiting viruses,
December 2011
kept its 
annual promise as well
bringing in
not one but
way too many reasons
for giggles, a few
pleasant memories
and permanent joys.

the anticipation and
all looking forward to, didn't
quite prepare me
for the fastest
entry and exit of

the bestest 

birthday gift ever!
caught me unawares 
it so did
i think i know now
though faintly,
what a 'hurricane'
or its after-effects must be like!
it sucks..
you don't know what hit you
that's precisely how it felt like!

the whats, hows and whys
will take 
their own sweet time
and so will the healing.
and healing will 
eventually
bring clarity
but i love what i see already
the awakening to
absurdity of my own prejudices,
fall of the self-imposed fences,
to be able to let go,
trust,
love 

and give again

without any restraints.
freely,
foolishly.
to be able to tune into
the design
that life has for me,
to sing
my own unique song,
to be me.
vulnerable
and alive.
happy
and at peace. 

welcome back, december!

dear december,

you have been waited for 
long and how!

all fingers are being crossed

right now.

fresh dreams are being dreamt

old ones are being re-moulded
or a few have been discarded

surprises are being registered

sighs are being heaved

smiles are being plastered

all over my fat face!

clarity of both vision 
and purpose

has been seeked 

and well, 'almost' reached

will be oh so glad 
and grateful

my darling december

if the joy and peace

i so desire 
and deserve now
will not be 

denied or ditched! 

heaps of love and warm hugs,

~ your fav. child welcoming you with open arms :o)

चहा च्या आगळ्या वेगळ्या छटा

चहा जणू काही माझा जीव कि प्राण. सकाळी उठल्या उठल्या सगळ्यात आधी हातात हवा तो चहाचा कप. नसला तर जीव अगदी कासावीस होऊन जातो. भले माझी सकाळी उठण्याची वेळ  ६, ७, ८, ९, १० असो कि दुपारचे दीड-दोन असो. चहा शिवाय चैन पडणे अशक्यच. कधी कुणी "What's your poison?" असा प्रश्न चुकून जरी विचारला तर माझे उत्तर हमखास चहा असे असायचे. गैरसमज नको. मला चहा प्यायल्यावर चढत वगैरे नाही ;-) किंवा त्याची चटक हि नाही. दिवसाला २ कप हि पुरेसे असतात. 

स्वयंपाक घरात सगळ्यात पहिली गोष्ट करायला शिकले तो सुद्धा चहाच. चहाची तर्हा निराळीच. चव हि. आणि सगळ्यांची बनवण्याची व आस्वाद घेण्याची पद्धत हि. साहित्य, कृती, प्रकार, प्रमाण, ठिकाण, लाभ आणि त्याचे रसिक ह्या सगळ्यातच अगणित विविधता. लिहायला बसले तर अख्खा "ब्लोग" च चहा वर समर्पित करावा लागेल :D आणि खर सांगू तर ते काम करायला माझी हरकत हि नाही. वेळ नाहीये हीच एक खंत.

आज हि आजीने केलेल्या मसालेदार चहाची (आणि लज्जतदार जेवणाची) आठवण येते. मन अगदी प्रसन्न होते आणि मग लगेचच भरून हि येते :-)

काही महिन्यांपूर्वी संध्याकाळी मी कसला तरी विचार करत बसले होते. आणि हा फोटो सहज म्हणून काढला. आणि नेहमी प्रमाणे त्यावर "उगीच कोणीतरी" ने मजेशीर कविता रचली. तुम्हाला हि तितकीच रुचकर वाटेल हि आशा :-)

photograph taken by me

आयुष्याच्या रंगमंचावर
कितीतरी पडदे , कितीतरी रंग ...
काही चहा
सलमान खान च्या हालचालीसारखे
गडबडीने उकळत राहतात,
काही चहा ,
देवगण च्या रागासारखे
कडक लाल टक लाउन
आतल्या आत धुमसत असतात
तर काही चहा
कुणा काजोल वर चालणार्या सिनेमा सारखे
कुणा एका साहेबी चहा पत्ती मध्ये मुरत राहतात ...
काही चहा
इरफान खान सारखे
इंग्रजी किटली तूनच बाहेर कपात पडतात;
आणि
काही काही चहा तर
आल, पुदिना मसाल्याचे दागिने घालून,
एका मुलीच्या अभ्यासा साठी,
एका आईच्या मनातूनच बाहेर पडतात ...
पडदा उघडतो, वाफा काचा झाकावतात,
सगळे नट नट्या, जांभया देत घरी निघतात
उरते फक्त
एक अभ्यासू मुलगी, एक आई ,
आणि प्रेमाने वाफाळलेला चहा ...
- सुरंगा दाते 

hospitable hospital

amusing it is but unlike most humans, i quite look forward to hospital visits. maybe it has to do with the fact that i was reminded repeatedly since childhood by all and sundry that i was born in a kitchen (of my favourite grandparents' home) and not on a random hospital bed! it fascinated me to no end (esp. if you connect this fact with my eternal love for food). and i have always felt special and quaint and unique and exclusive, etc, etc since then. you get the drift... 
yes, there is a particular hospital i am quite fond of visiting. though the reasons for the visits in the past were not all that pleasant (except the very 1st one ever when the little sister decided to bless the 3 of us with her much welcome presence in our super adventurous lives! :)
i can actually recall almost all my visits to the BARC hospital in Anushaktinagar, Bombay till date from the time i was issued the CHSS card in my name. essential part of my memories associated with the wonder years (almost 2 decades) spent in this huge township.

(via google / barc.ernet.in)

never dared to ask any soul (not even my own sister!) till date if they are fond of this hospital as much as i am. that would be akin to going ahead and asking for a stamp of approval on my state of craziness. but i genuinely feel that whoever designed this well-maintained architecture and landscape did so with a lot of heart. yes, it has all that other public / government hospitals do. nothing fancy about it nor does it exactly match up to all the high-end facilities one sees, reads or hears of in private hospitals. yet i never felt depressed or suffocated whenever i was in the vicinity or inside the premises. ample space, lot of green cover and a number of birds chirping all around to soothe the soul. it is that serene and idyllic a location. the sprawling lawns of the hospital allowed the residents to enjoy their quite evenings back then. it even gave shelter to the students who wanted to study in its calming ambience.
visited it again early morning last week after almost 3 long years. the reason was not pleasant again. aai had to be hospitalized for a minor surgery. there was a slight nervousness of course and excitement as always. i was in the colony after a long gap too. took my own sweet time to reach the ward she was admitted in. various floors and departments inside were decorated for the dussera puja and festivities next day. dussera is considered big in BARC overall esp. the working class. admiring the all-too-familiar spaces (and also a few faces) on our way. once we reached her floor, what was not all that familiar was her face and a few other things about her. i was seeing her after almost a month. and what i saw is only giving me sleepless nights since wednesday. the ever-smiling-gentle-forgiving-comforting-encouraging-content face etched in my heart and being forever suddenly seemed to have aged by a decade or two on the outside and within. i managed to compose myself somehow and went about my duties along with my sister in tow. we waited with her till she was served a very healthy, balanced lunch by the wonderful angels working there as ayahs. and only after we were asked by the nurse not to crowd her room and were sure that the father is around for some more time, we went down to the hospital canteen to have a quick lunch ourselves. would you believe me if i say that even the canteen hit me with much nostalgia? it is a small but quite spacious independent structure in a quaint corner of the spread-out hospital premises serving some decent food at VFM (value-for-money) prices for the hospital employees and general visitors. this canteen along with 2-3 other canteens in the township used to be one of our backup plans when aai wasn't around at home or we were too bored/lazy to cook. we quickly finished the meal along with a myna giving us interesting company with her curious stares and survey of all the tables and its occupants.
on our way back to her room, we happened to pass the hospital kitchen/pantry on the same floor and witness the ayahs preparing for the dussera puja with rangolis, marigold flower decorations, prasad and some of them playing a much subdued symbolic garba inside the pantry on a makeshift floor. i couldn't help but stand, smile and be a part of that warm moment, their bonhomie. most of them are low on 'high-brow education' or 'sophisticated trainings' of any kind but quite high on 'humanity' and 'compassion'. am glad and grateful to them and the nurses and doc on duty for taking good care of my aai for 3 days. i even remember telling my sister that day on our way home just how wonderful a feeling it would be to cook (i love to cook!) in that huge spacious kitchen for all the patients in the hospital or atleast on that floor. someday! someday! (yes, i get such crazy ideas at any given time on any given day in my life. no matter how low or depressed i am :)
aai is home now and will be admitted again next week since the surgery did not take place. and the two of us are worried sick for her failing health. it's like she has given up on life, hope or any faith in her future or purpose for living. leaving us feeling much frustrated, guilty, terribly sad, angry, helpless and lonely! i hope we are able to work around a solution for the situation sooner than later. and actually manage to give that noble soul the happiness and peace of mind she so deserves at this stage in her life. do pray. meanwhile, i draw strength from this lady (and the hummingbird). Wangari Maathai was and will always remain our hero. may her soul rest in peace.

and i also continue to miss and remain overly nostalgic about our beloved Anushaktinagar and everything it stands for us :)

bienvenue Octobre!

2 more days to go! and i feel as if i have already welcomed October 2 weeks ago with a barrage of positive news, people, health and vibes coming my way. touching wood is happening ever since. quite amusing though considering just how much i was dreading September this year for 2 completely different reasons.

so yes, as always i look forward to my eternally favourite last quarter of the year with bated breath and much melodrama! ;o)

in the next few posts, i will be putting up a few pictures clicked by me along with the poems composed by Suranga m'am. and no this is not a shameless plug :o) it is just me sharing her amazing talent with you all who loiter around my 'katta'. i find it amazing that the images i capture with a completely different emotion/intention in my mind is given another dimension altogether in her verses. though i do not post any images on my Facebook account anymore, i absolutely miss her 2-minute instant poems (and oh, i must admit here that i do not remember making even Maggi noodles in 2 minutes till date unlike what the brand has been busy claiming all these years!). 

photograph taken by me

Some habits die hard.

Since childhood, every morning,
post the hurry and flurry
of watering and cleaning,
Madame Tree, freshly bathed,
would look into the Sky mirror,
adjust her leaves just so,
and preen;
followed by
a languorous stretching of branches
in a mild movement of air,
designed to cook a snook
at the little bird on the roof,
watching all this avidly.

But one day, when she looked,
the Sky mirror showed,
instead of green,
black clouds,
imperiously rumbling;
and before Madam Tree could figure out,
the bird on the roof smirked, and said,
"The municipality has not cleaned
the storm drains this year...
so sit and enjoy your time
in the floods, while I soar
high,
way up above the clouds,
watching all your fun..."

- Suranga Date

the original verse in Marathi is posted on her blog here. do hop in there!